Good To Be Here

So 5 months down the line and not much has happened really! Well I say not much, but it has been brilliant to see how my first year of uni unfolded and how my relationships changed. I guess this is the most perfect time to post, cos my first year is over, and now comes the whole reflection! Are you sitting comfortably... then I will begin. September I promised myself that I would keep this blog to show how my first year of Uni unfolded. And the fact that I posted rather a lot at the beginning of the year is probably a combination of many things: Bordom! A good way to vent frustration! And the novelty of it being new, I suppose! But those things all changed; how much time did I really have to post to a website that hardly anyone would see! Even my mother gave up on it me thinks! So I guess that takes care of the novelty factor! As for the venting, I have 2 possible solutions for this: 1) I have people to vent to now. I have wonderfully understanding people, who have hearts of gold, the sense of humour like a standup comedian and love that keeps you safe and sound in the knowledge that if anything happens, they will be there for you! (That's the sentimental reason!) 2) I don't have to do it anymore! Pure and Simple! I don't have the unhappyness which I think was keeping me coming back, which I couldn't talk to people about. To quote Samantha and Charlotte from Sex And The City: S: How often do you feel happy? C: Everyday. S: You feel happy everyday? C: Not all day everyday. But Everyday! And there it is. I can honestly say I have felt happy for at least 5 mins every day! And a lot of that has to do with the people at uni! And just the fact that I have been doing things which MEAN I'm happier! Which leads me nicely onto the course! I honestly couldn't have found something which is more fun, more rewarding yet more challenging in the whole world. If I do this till I die, I will know I have made the right choice and can die a happy woman! Although the last school I was in was challenging, I got through to them in the end! I think when I finally started teaching them (science, literacy, maths) they began to see me more as a teacher, and I got as much respect from them as they gave to the other teacher, which is still no where near as much as I expected! I don't know how they have gotten away with it! The three week placement almost killed me. I'm sure it did. It was so tiring, and I was also pre-occupied with the fact that I was spending the last 3 weeks with my honey, be for he and I left for home, which FYI - Completely different ends of the country! A southern boy dating a Yorkshire girl, with a 6 hour drive inbetween! Not the most ideal situation, hence the preoccupation! Oh le Boyfriend!! Oh le gorgeousness! I can honestly say that he has made this year wonderful. My friends were my rocks through the year also! I tell you, I'm one lucky girl! They were there for me when I needed them and I loved them for it. But If le Boyfriend hadn't been there, it wouldn't have been quite the same! There is a difference between being loved by your friends and being loved by someone who loves you in a more boyfriendly way. It has honestly made me feel worth something again. I always knew I was a good friend... but never thought I could be girlfriend material; never thought I could be attractive to another person; never thought anyone would want to be with me. But I'm starting to realise that isn't the case. He has made me feel worth while again. It's funny, cos when I say this to people they say that they hope it won't all go away if something happens. But no, he has helped me to build my self confidence and to realise that I deserve to be happy and with someone, and not just watch everyone else hook up! I was thinking the other day about him, our first kiss and whenever he hugs me, and I geninely get butterflies in my stomach. A guy that can make you swoon from over 300 miles away can't be all that bad! So all in all, a successful year me thinks. I love you all, gorgous friends. And I am so excited about moving into my new house in September. My house, My room, My friends. Who could ask for anything more wonderful! Ttfn people. You're all wonderful! xx

Kindly Unspoken

So it's been a while since I last updated. So much for the 'I will keep it updated regularly so I can see my life unfold'. To be honest it's a bit of a mundane life, probably not much different from yours. Then again, it's hard to call it mundane when you have people in your life who make you feel special and worthwhile again.

Recently had placement for my course, which I was in 2 minds about. I think I was shocked by the sheer cheek of some of the children. I guess I would never have dreamed of talking to anyone, let alone the adults, in the manner they talk to us now-a-days. I guess the only way to show them you're there to stay is to be consistent. But here I am, telling you... Consistency is TIRING! I have never been so exhausted, has so many headaches and wanted to sleep so much! It was close to the symptoms of illness. My body wanted to fall asleep by 9.00 pm and was getting up at 6.30 am every morning. When you're not used to it, it takes a lot out of you. When I got into the flow of it though, it's wasn't half bad. Literacy was the one thing that no matter how rubbish I was feeling, I would always perk up. By the end of the two weeks I was identifying simple and complex sentences; opportunities for different punctuation; spelling mistakes; WOW words; capital letters (you wouldn't believe how many different places I have found capital letters); and similies and metaphores.

Hmm, as for this past 2 days, it's been a tad surreal. I've been back at home for a few days and all of a sudden I felt really really bad. Now I know what you're thinking. Most of the times I post I say that I have been feeling really bad. But this was different. Granted the hormonal psychopath in me probably didn't help the situation, but it gave me the opportunity to realise a few things. Things that I never thought I would realise, and that were slightly painful to admit. And I promise I'm not being dramatic.

What it all comes down to is the fact that I think I have finally worked out how to believe poeple when they say nice stuff to me. If they are the right people (if that makes sense) it's becoming easier to take what they say without argument. 'Strangers' still pose a problem, then again why would strangers be saying things to me. Hmm. I think it's been the most beneficial in terms of my gorgeous boyfriend. He doesn't have to battle so hard with me anymore to get me to take what he says kindly, instead of telling him it's lovely for him to say but it isn't true and he can stick it where the sun don't shine. A desirable trait in a girlfriend, no? I don't know why it was so hard for me to take coming from him. He doesn't have to be there; he has no obligation to be nice to me. He didn't even have to acknowledg my friendship, yet he did. So why should that have meant that he wouldn't say the things he says and mean it. Besides which he is a say what he means kinda guy.

I don't feel quite so guilty for doing it to him now, cos I know he isn't trying to keep me sweet or (sorry mummy) just wants me for sex. I kinda thinks he likes me a little. So this is the part where I put it in writing and tell you all that he really is the sweetest, kindest, most gorgeous, handsome, sexy and down right desirable guy in my life... and I love him!

Ttfn, guys! Have a good'n! xx

Sick and Tired

Oh it's been an odd couple of weeks! And as of Sunday night, I came down with a really really bad bout of Tonslitis. I can honestly say that I have never been in do much pain. I will really never complain of being in pain again. Ok, so imagine razorblades, then imagine having a cold so having a blocked nose. The add a bit of not being able to breath, then imagine trying to swallow while all this was going on! Safe to say, it was not fun.

On the bright side, I had a wonderful support network. My two best mates making sure/asking I was ok. At the top of the list, my mum and my boyfriend. I think the phone must have been attatched to my mum's ear by the end of the whole fiasco! Mum it hurts! Mum I can't stand it! Mum, when will it stop. Question after question, tear after tear. I'm suprised she didn't use her usual line of 'I'm changing my name!'. But no, she was lovely to me, as always. I don't like calling her when I'm upset and not well. I'm scared she'll worry about me, cos even though she's shorter than me, those 'jeans' seem to run in the family.

As for the Bf, who could ask for more. I felt bad calling on him, 'cos we haven't been together long, so I didn't feel I had the privaliges which one gets when ill. But no! I asked him and within 10 mins he was there. Hugs were had when I was crying my eyes out. He stayed up with me when I couldn't sleep. Like I said, what more could I ask for. He really is one of the decent ones!!

Glad to say I am on the mend. Not back to the full health station as of yet, but the antibiotics have kicked in and the TLC from both homes did me a lot of good.

Well out for me it is tonight. My mum is having friends over, so has kicked me and her partner out the house for the night. Ah well, we'll catch a movie (as they say in the states: American Idol really does rub off on you). Then it's back to bed and the train for me in the morning! Hmmmm Busy day, but more snuggles with my honey tomorrow night¬

Ttfn x

Sweet Home.. Alabama

Ok, so it's not Alabama, it's York. And I know I complained last time I was home that I was bored out my mind. But I am really having missing-home pangs. To be honest I'm not even sure if it is the missing home, I think it's just the people. I miss my mum and her partner; I miss my dad and his wife; I miss my grandparents. I may even miss my friends...

Then I think back to Christmas, and just how much I was wanting to come back to Uni. I missed all my friends. I missed my room. I missed my own space, independace and doing my own thing. I'm not saying that I hated it back home. But after being 'alone' for so many months, it was an adjustment I had to make for 3 weeks. I had to consider other people again, which was an adjustment in itself. I think I was ready to leave home. I was ready to live on my own and make my own decisions. And yes it's a learning curve, but I wouldn't go back for the world.

So now I'm sitting here thinking why the hell do you feel like this. You can't have it both ways, Missy!.... Hmmm I know, I shall have my family move here (well not Chester... Maybe Liverpool) and then I will have my own space and see my family on a regular basis. I think when you miss things like your Grandma's birthday (which I haven't missed in all my 18 years) and your Dad's birthday, then it really hits home just how far away you are. Two trains worth and a hell of a lot of faf, to be precise.

I know this feels unsumarised, unconcluded (is that even a word) and unfinished, but when you're confused you don't have a resolution straight away. Gimme some time and another trip home (coming up soon) and i'll be back to asking you 'Who lives in York, again?' Yes. That will be the case........ if you get me. For now I have cakey goodness to keep me company! Ttfn x

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You

Ok... so in the past two weeks that I haven't written, things have taken a turn, very much, for the better. You could almost say I am more happier now than ever. And this thing is you may ask? A Boyfriend! (hehe). Hold on, let me say that again... A Boyfriend! I'm still getting used to this term but, through no fault of my own, I think part of me won't allow it. It's definately nice to feel wanted, and yes the loneliness that I always used to feel, even in a crowd of people, has disappeared. But I am still struggling with someone wanting to be with me when there are so many other girls he could have chosen. I have been 'the friend' for so long that my feet are still adjusting to the newly purchased 'girlfriend shoes'. On a more positive note, which I'm sure one is supposed to talk about after finding somebody; Boy is it a nice to have a Boyfriend (when the other stuff doesn't get in the way). I think most people would describe it as the (dare I say it as it is closely related to the 'W' word) 'Honeymoon period'. The talking till early hours of the morning, the snuggling up to watch films, the snogathon sessions! I have to admit, I forgot how much fun making out could be! Anyhoo, I digress into an area most of you probably don't want to think about. But come on, we've all been there! I know my one of my best mates went through that phase and very much enjoyed it. Apart from the newness of it all and the stuff that comes hand in hand with it, have I told you how amazing he is? Now I know it's only early days, and I don't know everything about him, but the more I find out the more I like him. I fall for him a little more every day. Is that how it's supposed to be?! He likes the same games that I do. Same music. Same Dvds. Same food tastes. And on top of this he seems to appreciate me for who I am, and doesn't expect me to be anything different. He even thinks it's cool that I will sit and watch while he plays on the Xbox, rather than ask him to turn his attention to me! (However it never hurts to give him the occasional kiss at save points-just to remind him of my presence!) Anyhoo, the washing is finished, and he is kicking ass on the xbox, so this is where I leave you. Hopefully only at the beginning of what will hopefully be more posts to come in the life of me and, now it seems, my new, lovely boyfriend. Ttfn x

An Apology

This is possibly one of the shortest blogs I will ever do. But, hey! Sometimes the short ones mean more cos there is no waffel! I wanna say sorry to all my mates back home, who got the impression that they were now inferior to the friends here. To be honest, now I read what I put I know what you mean! But you know me! I put my foot in my mouth without realising it! So I wanna say sorry and that you all helped me when I needed your support! And BOOOYY did we laugh! I love you all, and miss you much :) Ttfn xx

Our House... In the Middle of Our Street

Ok, so it's not really, completely our house. But it's a house. And come the 1st September 2010 we can officially call it ours for the year!

Scene setting: 8 people; 4 guys, 4 girls. Needing a house. Looking at 4 houses in total. We saw our first house when we thought we were a small group of 6, and we liked it, but it was (obviously) too small. So it was on to the next one. That was very nice, but we discovered it had a lot wrong with it. So the search continued. Then we found our house and we all liked it (especially after the last one we looked at which we weren't sure about). It has 8 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (with baths), 3 toilets, a living room and a kitchen! 5 double bedrooms; I'm SOOO bagsying one of them!!! So I did the Mummy thing and made sure everyone was sure, then I asked the questions which needed to be asked. We handed over our (£100) and it's ours!

And the best thing is not the double bedrooms, it's not the Sky box, it's not even the 2 baths! It's the people I am going to be living with! Like one of my best mates says:

True Friends are not those you are forced with, but those you find on your own!

I am so glad this is the case, as the friends I am going to be living with are the most stupendus people I know! I love them all! I have been so lucky in finding people I want to live with, cos I know some people have had a rough deal with looking for people to live with. It's going to be one hell of a year!!

Obviously we will have to whip the boys into shape! If they put one foot wrong us girls will be there to gang up on them! Oh yeah! They might just find themselves chained to a lamp post at 3am in the morning for not following 'house rules'! (Oooh I like this plan!)

Only a short one from me! Ttfn :)